What if
by Niklog
Summary: What if. What if she didn't die, what if she lived. What would happen? How would it happen? (Yes, very original I know. but it just kinda happened.) Rated M for future (If there will be any future chapters)


**A/n's: So... before you go all out and kill me, yes I did finish the third chapter it should be up soon. This is something that I wrote on a whim after watching the anime. This is supposed to be a one shot but if you guys would want more then sure I will try and do more. ( not like with the other fic).**

 **Now for the explanation, or excuses, or what ever you want to call it.  
Ever since I posted the second chapter, I've started dealing with this monster thing called life. I have finals, depression (Not anymore :D) and more. all of those made my mind go blank and block, no barricade itself. I wasn't able to write at all nor did I want to. But now I'm done dealing with other BS. Although I'm still pretty fucking busy but I will try to dedicate more time to writing,**

 **With all of that said Lets get to it. I hope you like it.**

* * *

 _She's gone…._ I thought.  
Tears streaming down my cheeks to my chin as I stand up, and bow down to the audience.

Slowly but surely claps were filling up the hall. Everyone were cheering for me.

They loved my, _Our_ , Performance. Even if it was our last.

I walked away from the stage to the backstage, my whole body is shaking. I could barely keep myself on my feet. And soon after I collapsed on my knees. Supporting myself with my hands I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest.

It has only now sank in that _She_ is now gone. _She_ won't be there anymore. Once again, The one who he cared for the most left him alone.

"Why does it always happen to me?" I whispered and started sobbing. I couldn't hold back.

All of our moments together, flashed before my eyes.

Her beautiful blond hair waving in the blowing wind as she looks at me with tearful eyes. A melodica in her hands.

That was the moment that my life changed.

"Arima?" A voice sounded in the hallway but I ignored it since it didn't matter at this moment.

"Ey, Arima, get a hold of yourself!" The voice said, I now recognized it as Tsubaki and Watari.

I looked up face and eyes red from sobbing. "What's the point now? She's dead. I can't go on now." I said to them, my head falling back on my hands on my knees.

"What do you mean she's dead? The surgery isn't over yet." Watari said his head tilted in confusion.

"Doesn't matter, I know it. I feel it. She's gone. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

She's go-"

A phone vibrated, then a second one, then my own. All three of our phones vibrated. All of us got mail.

Watari that's looking on his phone didn't check his mail yet as he saw the name on the address. Kaori Miyazono.

Watari seemed petrified as he thought that his friend is right, That the girl that loves him is now gone.

Tsubaki didn't even bother looking at her phone as she tried to get me to look up.

When she finally did get me to look up I pulled out my phone and checked for the mail that I got. As I saw the name I too was horrified, Afraid of the contents of the mail. It could either be Very good or Very bad.

And I felt it was the latter one.

I pressed the middle key on my phone which opened the mail.

 _From: Kaori Miyazono_

 _To: Kousei Arima_

 _Hello, It's Kaori's parents. We wanted to say that Kaori…._

I gasped. My free hand covering my mouth as tears building up in my eyes again. I suddenly shot up and ran out of the backstage. Not even noticing I dropped my phone. As it span around so the message could be seen.

 _Hello It's Kaori's parents. We wanted to say that Kaori is now out of the surgery. She should recover fully. You can visit her now if you want._

I ran towards the hospital. Running past people, not caring for anything. I just wanted to get to the hospital. Nothing else mattered.

Finally getting to the front of the hospital, I panted heavily as I grabbed my aching chest.

Slowly regaining my breath, I walked inside the hospital and approached the desk.

"Umm… Hello. I came to see Miss Kaori Miyazono" I said nervously.

"She's in room 201, That's on the second floor third room from the right,"

"Thanks" I shouted at the nurse sitting at the desk as I bolted up the the stairs.

Looking around the room numbers I saw it. Room 201 with the name Kaori Miyazono Written under it with a red highlight.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it to calm myself down. I knocked on the door.

"Come on in" A voice could be heard, It was a female voice. A familiar one.

I opened the door and took a look inside. What I saw made me the happiest person in the world. I saw her, sitting on the bed, smiling at me. Her blond hair gathered in a pony tail. Her eyes tearing.

I ran up to her and held her. I hugged her tightly.

"I thought you were gone" I said, almost sobbing with my eyes getting teary.

She held me back grabbed me by my shoulders. "I heard you, You saw it too didn't you? Our Performance on that stage, the two of us. It reached me."

"B- But you disappeared. I thought you were gone!" At this point I couldn't hold back anymore I cried at the shoulders of the one I love. The one the Loves my best friend.

"I was. But your music reached me and didn't let me leave just yet. I also promised you didn't I? We still need to perform together. On the same stage."

At this point I didn't say anything, and just Hugged her even tighter. I just couldn't believe that she's here with me. I didn't want to let go.

"I can understand how you feel but I did just get out of surgery…" She said.

"Oh. Sorry!" I said looking down embarrassed as she giggled at my actions.

"Something wrong?" She asked me.

"Ye- No. Argh. Look. I want to tell you it. Even though it won't ever come true, I want to tell you, I need to tell you."

I paused for a second, taking a big breath I walked to her bed and set beside her.

"Look. Ever since that day in April, where I saw you playing that Melodica with the kids, something in me changed."

I looked at her right in her eyes.

"My whole world started gaining colors. It wasn't the monotone gray anymore. I started to see and feel colors, My own emotions that I never felt before. It's all thanks to you.  
This is the first time I ever felt that way about someone."

She looked at me with her eyes widening a bit with realization of where I am going with it.

"I love you. I know You love Watari, but still. I love you, with all of my heart."

I paused for a second and took another deep breath.

"You shine brighter than any star in the night. Heck, even brighter than the sun."

She giggled and looked at me with her eyes tearing up.

"I love you. I really love you."

I finally finished and started panting after the small declaration of love.

Kaori looked at me with tears in falling down her cheeks, and a smile that's growing bigger and bigger.

"I love you too." She said.

At this point I was thrown back, _What do you mean I love you too? Don't you love Watari?_

 _If you didn't why did you say you loved him? Why did you go through all of this just to say this to me? Out of Pity?_

"HUH?!" my jaw dropped. "What do you mean 'I love you too'?"

She doesn't say anything and looked at me with a determined face, she opens the drawer in the nightstand beside her and picks a piece of paper, an envelope, with a black cat sticker on the backside of it. _Hmm? A letter? Why would she give me a letter? What's so important in the letter that she has to give it to me?._ I thought.

After a slight hesitation she extends her hands and hands over the letter.

The same thoughts occurred again, sparking the curiosity within me.

I shrugged every thought I had the moment I flipped the letter and saw what was written on the backside of the letter beneath the small, cute, black cat sticker.

'To Arima Kousei'

I slowly opened the letter by unplugging the cat sticker. I pulled out the paper inside and started reading it.

 _Dear Arima Kousei._

 _It feels weird to write a letter to someone who you were just with…_

 _You're the worst._

 _Indecisive. Slowpoke. Dummy._

 _The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old._

 _It was a recital for a piano school I was going to._

 _This… Awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt._

 _It was too funny._

 _Then he turned to the piano, that was way too big for him and the moment he played the first note, I was drawn in._

 _The sound was beautiful, like a 24 color palette._

 _The melodies danced._

 _The girl next to me even started crying._

 _I wasn't expecting that at all._

 _And even so, you decided to quit the piano._

 _Even though it totally changed other people's lives._

 _You're the worst._

 _Indecisive. Slowpoke. Dummy._

 _When I found out we were in the same middle school… I was ecstatic._

 _But how would I ever come talk to you?_

 _Maybe I'll buy sandwiches everyday?_

 _But in the end all I could do is watch. After all, you guys were all too tight._

 _There was no space for me to slip in._

 _I had a surgery as a child. And since then I've been treated as an outpatient._

 _After I collapsed in 7th grade, I was in and out of the hospital, repeatedly._

 _I started spending more time in then out. I was hardly ever at school by then._

 _I knew that I wasn't very well._

 _One night, when I saw my mother and father crying in the hospital waiting room,_

 _I realized that I don't have much time._

 _That was the moment I broke into a run._

 _I started doing whatever I wanted, so I would not bring my regrets with me to heaven._

 _Those contact lenses that scared me, eating a whole cake, which I've never done before because I was worried about my weight._

 _Even the music scores that bossed me around so haughtily- I played them my way._

 _And then I just told a single lie._

 _Kaori Miyazono loves Ryota Watari…. That was the lie I told._

I stopped reading the letter, and looked up. Not realizing that my eyes were tearing up.

I looked at the girl that was sitting on the bed, looking at me.

"Keep reading." Was all she said.

 _That lie would bring you before me. Arima kousei… It brought you to me._

 _Please tell Watari that I'm sorry. Well I guess it won't take long for watari to forget all about me._

 _As a friend, he's a fun guys but I'd rather have someone more intense._

 _Also, Tell Tsubaki that I'm sorry. I'm just someone who's passing by, who'll be gone._

 _I didn't want to leave an awkward mess behind, so I couldn't ask Tsubaki._

 _Or rather even If I asked her straight-up, "Please introduce me to Arima", I don't think Tsubaki would've been okay with it._

 _After all, Tsubaki is so crazy about you, We'd all known it for a long time._

 _The only ones who didn't know were you….. And Tsubaki…._

 _The "You" That my underhanded lie brought before to me wasn't who I'd imagined._

 _You were more negative and passive then I thought,_

 _Not to mention stubborn, relentless and a camera voyer._

 _Your voice was lower than I thought, and you were more manly than I thought._

 _And…. you were just as gentle as I thought._

 _The river was so cold and felt so good when we jumped off the courage bridge wasn't it?_

 _The round moon peeking into the music room looked like a delicious manju bun._

 _When we raced that train…. I really thought we could win._

 _It was fun singing twinkle twinkle little star together under the shining stars, wasn't it?_

 _There's just something about school at night, right?_

 _Don't you think that snow looks like cherry blossom petals?_

 _To be consumed by everything off-stage when I'm a musician…. That just doesn't makes sense does it?_

 _Isn't it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be so trivial?_

 _What about you?_

 _Was I able to live inside someone's heart?_

 _Was I able to live inside your heart?_

 _Do you think you'll remember me at least a little?_

 _You'd better not hot Reset._

 _Don't forget me. Okay?_

 _That's a promise okay?_

 _I'm glad it's you after all._

 _Will I reach you?_

 _I hope I can reach you._

 _Arima Kousei._

 _I love you._

 _I love you._

 _I love you._

I stopped reading once again.

"You…. love… me?" I asked her. Confused.

 _She loves me?_ I thought. I didn't understand what was going on.

She looked right at me, as she wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"Yes. Arima Kousei. I love you."

 **End of chapter 1?**


End file.
